Schizophrenia

Photo from web

Photo from web

Schizophrenia is a type of mental illness that occurs within only 1% of the overall population. The reasons  why a person suffers from Schizophrenia is unknown. Schizophrenia often accompanying by hallucination, hearing voices and seeing objects such as other people in mind. I suffer from insomnia with repetition of visualize dream in terms of seeing objects as clearly as watching television programme in my dreams instead of normal dream. Those dream come as in non stop repetition of nightmare. I experience changes in dreams since I am pregnant in year 2014. This happens about 2 years after hearing voices causing severe hallucination and various unconscious or uncontrollable bizarre behavior, behavioral disorder and soliloquize. This condition one day stopped gradually in 2016 whereby I had no dream at all at night, seemingly not of a normal person, yet rather than experiencing this kind of dream and images during sleep, but however happened once in a while. Schizophrenia patient is often not violent, differ from Anxiety and Depression patient. Unfamiliar with and do not know the importance of seeking medical advise, refuse to receive treatment after undergo years of Anxiety and Depression medication treatment is the main reason for not seeking medical help. I am only then found to suffer from this illness during early pregnancy by a doctor at KPJ Hospital. He then wrote a letter of referral and refer me to get medical help at General Hospital Psychiatric clinic.

However, I start to receive treatment in the beginning of year 2015, few months after my daughter was born. First at Mental Hospital, Kota Sentosa under Risperidone treatment. Then at General Hospital Psychiatric clinic and undergo Olanzapine, Aripripazole and Flunxol injections type of treatment. Due to consumption of Olanzapine and other medications which causes elevated prolactin (risk in developing cancer disease other than food, inherited disease or unprotected sexual activity) and resulted in menses once every 3 months and risk of difficulties in getting pregnant especially infertile. I am given Aripripazole by doctor instead. My menses then comes every month as usual by such it is irregular. I did suffer side effects like blurred vision (increasing eye power of shortsightedness range from 100 to 150 degree), restlessness (uncontrolled movement of shaking my legs even in public), insomnia and weight gain. After slowly slimming down months after pregnancy, I face sudden weight gain especially after taking medications, from 48kg to 52kg. I did went to Permai Pychiatric clinic once.

Hearing voices of many people commanding, imitating my thoughts and trying to conquer my mind by creating hallucination and weird thoughts is mentally torturing me. Have mercy in me lord. Hearing voices causing hallucinations are getting under controlled now with medications months after seeking treatment. However, I find that my sick condition are easily stimulated especially while socialize with others. I think this action should be discontinued.

I started to write down about the voices in my mind since 2014 to 2016 and send by post to counseling centers especially free counseling center with religious belief like 恩典辅导中心等等 in few hundred or even exceed thousands pages especially during pregnancy and even after. I prefer letter writing or mailing method for it turns out to be more precise in voices description, greater understanding of my past or me and various types of mental disturbance from everywhere. I know this could cause disturbance but I just couldn't help it for I need counseling help. Thus, I go for a non-reply method for only god almighty and unseen power could help me. It is something supernatural, not a normal human being could do that! My condition starts to experience several changes but still receive treatment is the best solution. Then, I found that Agape is the best counseling center so far for I could feel significant differences. Agape received donations as a kind of repayment, for example tax exemption took place if one donated to this counseling center.
精神分裂症，是长期压抑及忧郁造成的。

Schizophrenia is the most serious type of mental illness or a brain disease. It affects on patient's thinking, thoughts, perceptions and even behavior. It rips the person out of their functioning in various parts in life. Patients having this type of mental illness often suffer from social deficits, or minimize socialization to zero, even by the society which is of being indifferent and lastly complete isolation from the society. Participation in community activity tends to be minimal. Schizophrenia people tends to avoid contact with other people. This is a major reason of complete social-isolation and non-active social life.  Being able to earn a living makes the patient becoming an independent individual. Over-relying on family members financially or everything can cause independent decision making a problem or affect my choices. The ability to work often are affected or known as disability even though under medication if socialization and interaction with others still persists which should be minimal or decrease to none. Disability often are misunderstood as lazy, however it is actually lack of interest, barriers or unable to continue with a daily routine work as schedule. Personal assistance and rehabilitation center helps to overcome this problems. That's why rehabilitation center for job skill, talent, aids in daily activity which reduces disability and improve their functional activity due to Schizophrenia is available in urban areas especially for those who are getting themselves prepared for work, but less in rural areas.  Rehab Concept, Kuching is where you might find a therapy that suits you, for example Pilates, which goes well together with your own medication, especially in strengthening and conditioning. The duration of rehabilitation depends on the needs and to the extend of disability in her. Reflexology and healing center are of Chinese traditional treatment, massage, or maintenance therapy which is required of a longer period for the effectiveness of medicine. The most economical way needs to be encounter to overcome this mental illness by recovery and chances of relapse. Schizophrenia is a disease which not only burdens a family, even the economy. I find it hard to engage in activities before having Schizophrenia. Withdrawal from social activities, interactions and daily activity is affected in a way which a patient with Schizophrenia finds it hard to live on even a simple daily life like taking breakfast or personal hygienic care like bathing or combing hair. If my husband can understand why I can't get myself involve with social life once I am in this illness, being supportive, treatment should be undergone successfully without frequent relapse for example recurring voices and visualize dreams. Relapse also posses biggest challenge to rehabilitation despite of treatment. Relapse occur mainly due to the emotions shown by family members. If not being in a supportive state, it affects in improvement and induces more frequent relapse. Approaching for follow up treatment on a regular basis should be understood by family members while stigma prevent the patient from doing so. This affect much on my relationship with friends, relatives, colleagues whereby I can hardly sustain a relationship when I am in a confused condition, other than struggling hard with relationships with my own family. Even talking with others is a need based. Conflict is very common to arise among others. Many patients find themselves leading a near a normal life or experience better outcome after being with living with their own family especially in developing countries or urban areas of concentrated rehabilitation center other than rural areas. Family and social support is important for a Schizophrenia patient to function effectively.

Sczophrenia and social deficits
Sczophrenia, living with disability

With medication and counseling help, I finally found gradual or obvious improvement in me and enable me to lead a better life. I feel disturbed mostly at home only depending on the sick condition for I 'locked myself up' since 2006 at my home or 'in an asylum', so visitors at home can cause great mental disturbance, relapse perhaps, worsen sick condition, stimulation and etc no other like failed isolation. I feel uncommon differences thereafter especially while being within the society, else many affray through unseen forces. If being in an asylum, threats, harm and all sides attack could be easily identified by the authority especially my house from everywhere, similar to the person who locked one up and further prevention action could be taken in time. I then found myself quite normal while being out of the house.  Prison as asylum for mentally ill. Seclusion, or solitary confinement is practice when one posses harm to oneself or others. Lock a person with mental illness and isolation is inhuman and discriminatory which should be avoided, yet this practice continues to happen due to lack of understanding of this illness by the society. One is often highly aware and sensitive of social acceptance. Despite of that, I am no other like a normal person.

My husband brings our family out once a week, every Saturday night from 5.15pm to attend church mass from 6 to 7pm, then a fancy dinner and grocery shopping until the latest be home by 9.30pm. Places that we used to go after married is Viva City, Plaza Merdeka, Spring, Tabuan Jaya, Samarahan like Farley or 金龙 area, Jalan Song, supermarkets and restaurants. For Sunday evening around 5pm, our family go jogging or a walk at Stutong park, a way to release stress especially my husband, then heading for a simple dinner then be back home before dark. This is outing schedule of our family subject to changes. Sometimes, I went out during day time in the weekend often buy something seemingly unable to attain self-control, or not my intention. If my husband is not around, I seldom go out unless my child is sick, but I do feel like going out too unintentionally or intentionally like go home or grocery shopping paid by my mother and child as companion.

Great food

Chasing faith song for mentally ill being locked up. One tries to weep, but failed to shed a tear often in a forbidden and oppressive way, while songs make one to cry.

 
Schizophrenia could be cured. A patient is at a higher risk to commit suicide if compared to others. Some died of other serious illness. Schizophrenia can lead to poverty and short life. Being under medication enable me to lead a normal life. I hope that I can have a healthy long life of 85 years old with full recovery and no relapse, too hope that my child does not inherit this terrible and awful disease. Thanks god for gifting me the company of my mother, husband and daughter so that I can still live on a normal life even with Schizophrenia. Family and society plays an important role, those mentioned by the newspaper or other conduit which made known to the society of what is mental disorder？